Sid: And it’s good to be pure; it’s a good feeling to be pure. First of all because God says “Be ye holy for I am holy;” second of all because it’s going to make you be at peace with yourself. Third of all it’ll stop having a divorce; fourth of all it’ll stop messing up your children. Fifth of all it’ll stop messing up your grandchildren. Dr. Doug Weiss do you agree with that?
Doug: Absolutely Sid, and I think that if men could see the positive side of being clean; we would have a stampede of men signing up because so many men are spiritually you know not where they want to be financially, emotionally where they want to be. Their marriages aren’t where they want to be and they think that this thing they do on the side has nothing to do with it when it has everything to do with it. You get men clean and their entire life becomes an adventure.
Sid: Okay, what advice would you give the man or the woman that’s listening to us right now that’s having a flirtation affair with someone in their office? It maybe just in their mind and it maybe just kind of joking back and forth, but what advice would you give them; how can they stop it or it may have been that they’ve actually had an affair.
Doug: If you can stop it; stop it before it becomes an affair; there is really damage there. But you need to be accountable, get a friend and say “Listen I’m talking to this girl; it’s in appropriate and it’s wrong; I’ll call you every day and I’ll tell you what I’m saying and what I’m not saying.” Set profession boundaries with her and say “You know what this is unprofessional and I feel uncomfortable and I really don’t want these emails or text. Block her from your tech, block her from emails if you can; if it’s appropriate to do that and you definitely should be blocking her from your techs.
Sid: But how do you do that if they’re I the next desk to you?
Doug: Well, if it’s communicating professionally she should be calling you on your office line not your cellphone. You can call your company and have them blocked their cell to your cell.
Sid: Okay, what does a wife do whose suspects her husband is into pornography or into having some sort of an affair; is there anything a wife can do?
Doug: Well, I mean he can set up his emails so that their all automatically sent to her; he can easily give her his call logs to see if there’s any problems that he’s calling a number or getting a call from a lot of numbers. He can set things up to protect himself. Okay, he can have a porn blocker on his computer at work and at home that gives her report; those are things that he can do. She can ask him direct questions okay, what about self- behavior, what about pornography, what about…
Sid: No, she just suspects it; what can she do?
Doug: She should ask.
Sid: Okay and what if he lies; do people lie a lot that are into pornography?
Doug: I know, I hate that Sid; in my office people come they do intenses and we actually do polygraph to verify that their telling us the truth every week. So I know people lie so there is nothing she can do about that. I wish there was; if we had that man I wish I had some kind of oil I could slap on some guys head and it would turn green if he lied. She’s kind of powerless but I can tell you what a lot of woman have done and it’s dangerous. “Lord Jesus if he’s doing anything at any cost at any expense expose it. I’m ready to deal with it.”
Sid: That is a great prayer.
Doug: You talk to the Father and He will deal with it. You just have to tell Him you’re ready to know. And Sid I can tell you in the book we actually talk about this several guys getting caught by you know their cell phone calling their lover and connecting it to their wife and they’re talking at the same time. I mean crazy stuff and this happened when guys have gotten caught, guys have down loaded pornography stopped at the printer and then it printed it an hour or two later; they got fired; they got exposed. There’s all kinds of things but ladies you really need to be one 100% willing to go down that road and say “Lord whatever it takes expose it.” And I can tell you woman who have prayed that dangerous prayer often times within days things happen that supernaturally God exposes sin.
Sid: Now you’re the expert in this but I have to believe that when a man touches a little fire it’s not going to go out until it’s a forest fire unless he puts it out.
Doug: And that’s right, so you don’t want to have inappropriate conversations with women; if you are starting down that road there is something really wrong in your heart and in your marriage go get help. Talk to your pastor, go talk to a counselor get help now; you are already in trouble. And it maybe that you’re setting up a marriage that’s not fun to be in and your blaming your wife for that. Work with the marriage God gave you because there will be favor in working in that marriage. Working trying to work another relationship to get out of the one that you’re already lazy in; do you think that will help you? It’s not going to help you.
Sid: Tell me about the holy hologram.
Doug: You know this is a revelation Sid that our bodies are created holy and a lot of women will email me and say “Why is my husband looking at pornography I thought I was supposed to be enough?” And then I explain this to them the body was created holy and what men are attracted to is not pornography and it’s not beauty even; it’s holiness. The more of the body that you see the more of the holiness you see. Now we see this in scripture in Genesis in two occasions. One with Noah’s son when his father was exposed two of them covered him, one exposed him. In the situation with the Lord and the angels coming down and talking to Abraham before they destroy Sodom and Gomorrah. Abraham bows down he’s sees the holiness and he bows down. The two angels go off to Sodom and Gomorrah; lot bows down and then he tells the angels “Hey listen you need to come to my house okay.” Then the Sodomites saw the holiness but they wanted to consume it. See holiness exposes who we are as men; we are either protectors of holiness or we are consumers of lust. And that nakedness exposes our heart. Women are holy; their bodies are holy and when you see women as holy it’s really hard to lust after them.
Sid: Tell me about James and John.
Doug: (Laughing) You know I’m a Christian Sid and when I was first… you know I was still struggling with lust and pornography and self-behavior and stuff like that when I got saved. I would use 1st John 1:9.
Sid: You know I just think everyone listening has to have an experience with the fear of the Lord, because I don’t even get it how people can flirt with fire.
Doug: I get that but let me answer your question. You know we go to Jesus and we want Jesus to forgive us and so many believers are forgiven but they’re not healed. Okay that is James 5:16. “If” and that’s conditional promise “If we confess our faults one to another we can be healed” right. The reverse of that right is if Doug keeps his secrets to himself he’s guaranteed to stay sick. So many men and some woman are trapped because of pride they won’t tell somebody what’s going on. As soon as you tell somebody; as soon as I told my roommate 25 years ago I was struggling; God started to heal me because that’s the principal. “Confess your faults one to another so that you can be healed.” That humility releases healing and that accountability releases healing. So many people want just a relationship with Jesus. If you’re struggling right now Jesus loves you and he is in the body of Christ and if you will confess your faults to a trustworthy believer of the same sex of the same gender you can start to begin to experience clean in a totally different than the way you’re failing month, after mouth year after year by yourself.
Sid: Tell me about a condition that I’ve never even heard of before but you talk about it called intimacy anorexia.
Doug: Sid intimacy anorexia I deal with a lot of people with addictions and sexual addictions. This shows up within the marriage. And intimacy anorexic will blame the spouse for all the problems. They’ll be so busy they have no time to date them or have time for just them. Withhold love, without pride, without physically intimacy; withhold spiritually will not pay with them; not connect with them will not worship with them. Will not talk about their feelings; use anger or silence as a way to control the relationship; sometimes they control with money. They have a heart that withholds the spouse feels alone disconnected and they feel like their roommates. A lot of times these intimacy anorexic have a sexual issue going on as well. That’s why we call it the two sided problem in the book “Clean” because sometimes they’re acting out but in their marriage like I have a couple in this week you know they weren’t physically intimate for almost an entire year. But he was entertaining himself with pornography and self-pleasure regularly so she has the intimacy anorexia, and in his case the sexual addiction stuff. So that’s a double-edged sword so if you’re living that you only want to get more information.
Sid: I have to believe that the world that we’re living in right now; the soon return of Jesus that everyone would want to be clean; everyone would want to be pure; everyone would want not be sabotaged in their destiny. The people listening to us right now men, women, single people, married people they value their children. They value their relationship with God. Tell me about one person that’s gone through this and what’s happened to them very quickly.
Doug: Oh, these principals have been used for over 20 years; this book wasn’t written on a weekend this was 20 years of stories of marriages being restored; men being restored, men returning to their calling in their life. Men being able to say “I am clean, I am clean.” And also leading other men down the path of cleanness and freedom and holiness; this works and it’s been working for over two decades.
Sid: Tell me one quick testimony that comes to mind.
Doug: Well I can think of you know we’ll say Bob. Bob who was struggling self- behavior; he was into pornography; he was anorexic at home. Came in and he started working the clean principals; got accountable and got into an accountability group; got accountable to a friend of his. And he’s been sober for 15 years now; okay and now is involved in ministry and touching lives and it’s awesome.
Sid: Well, that’s an example of someone that’s sabotaged because they had a wonderful destiny and the devil wanted to abort it. And of course if there’s no accountability group in your congregation then one person is your accountability group. You can do it.
Tags: its supernatural, Sid Roth
Tags: its supernatural, Sid Roth