Sid: We want everyone everywhere to be set free. Yes, set free! I have a book by my friend Molly D’Andrea right in my hand now and it’s called “Set Free.” And the subject is different than what you are used to. But I’m going to tell you something within the church statistically we have found out from various polls there are as many if not more divorces than the general public. There are people dealing with pornography that call themselves Christians, there are people dealing with sexual addictions of all kinds and they call themselves Christians. There are people that are Christians that have been molested or raped or have been victims of incest. They’ve just buried it and they’ve never really been free. You see the Messiah came to set the captives free. There are people that love God and they are practicing lesbians and homosexuals and they don’t know that Jesus came to set the captives free. Let me read this from the back of the back of the book. Dramatic stories that are offer hope for the sexually wounded. On these pages you will meet John who faced death with his homosexual lover; Rhoda who lived in fear and shame because of sexual abuse ty her father; Allen whose addiction to pornography and promiscuity led to prison plus many more. This is not a book of condemnation and judgment rather it is a volume filled with love and compassion. And I’ve talked to some of the people that are written the pages of this book and this is what they have said to me. They said, “Sid this book not only shows the steps on how to get free from all of the bondage that you are in but how to stay free and how to know the difference that’s it really isn’t you it’s really a spiritual force and demonic entity that is doing these things. You see most homosexuals and lesbians that I meet they think that’s them. They think they can’t be free, but the truth is that that it is not them, that is not who God created and God loves them and wants them to be free. I have on the telephone Tracy Leigh and I’m speaking to her at her home in St. Petersburg, Florida. Her story is in this book. Tracy your problems started I think in the womb. From what I’ve read you’re literally one of these children that had a spirit of rejection come in right at conception.
Tracy: Oh yes, oh yes most assuredly. I was conceived out of wedlock and fornication. My mother and father in the backseat of the car you know the type date thing. And when they found out I was going to be arriving it wasn’t a happy news. My mother was married when she was 7 months pregnant with me. And they took the wedding pictures with her in her wedding gown after I was born. And those are the pictures I gave away.
Sid: Now, I find this hard to believe but this is what you said. At age 1½ you began experimenting sexual with yourself and your mother said it was “Okay as long as no one saw you?”
Tracy: Well it was one of those things that it was “Okay, it’s okay honey just you know…” she didn’t say as long as no one saw me but that was the inference that was given. “It’s okay if it’s done in private I’m not going to say anything to anybody and you can just do whatever you want to do.”
Sid: Now your mother was sickly all the time and you actually believed in God as a little child but how come she allowed you to look at things as a little girl things like Playboy magazine?
Tracy: Well there you got a seed. See my mother had her problems and her issues and she could only give to me what she had received. So when she had her boyfriend, I mean she stayed by the letter of law with him, there was no adultery or fornication with him they stayed according to the word of God. And they actually split up and didn’t really spend time together alone after our pastor had told her that it was my father and her divorce was not final so that it looked bad and so they separated. But for some reason the Playboy was there and stumbling across it that’s when I really started getting bound up in pornography.
Sid: And you were molested at a young age at about 5, but one day something very traumatic happened to you, you weren’t picked up at school. How old were you?
Tracy: I was 7.
Sid: At 7, tell me about that.
Tracy: Well I was at St. John’s Elementary School and like I said I loved Jesus, I loved God but my mom didn’t come to get me. In fact it was after a little Brownie meeting we had and I called and the phone rang and rang and rang. So finally I called my grandfather who I called dad. And he was mad because my mom had been at the house doing laundry didn’t pick me up and so she didn’t make a habit of messing around but he was so mad so he came to get to get me. From a distance of so many miles I just smoke and I just started praying I didn’t think it was anything but I just needed to pray. And the closer we got it was our house and our townhome and they found my mother on the kitchen phone in her hand she had picked it up as I hung up. So right then and there the thoughts came in my mind and I know that they’re demonic now but the thought came that I’d murdered her.
Sid: Hmm.
Tracy: If I would just have let the phone ring one more time I could have told her to get out of the house. And I still I had such a faith in God but that night when my grand-mother came into the room and said “Let’s pray.” I figured God was going to believe that God was going to raise my mom from the dead.
Sid: You really did have faith.
Tracy: He was going to raise her from the dead because see I got everything I wanted Sid. Every time I prayed God gave me everything I wanted. And if my mom said “No, I went and I asked Daddy God and Daddy God said “Yes.” And I would get it
Sid: So from age 7 you really thought you were responsible for your mom’s death. So you felt a wall between yourself and God.
Tracy: Oh yeah, I mean it started off with “How could He love me a murderer.” And then I got mad at Him because “You didn’t bring her back, You took her You don’t love me and You don’t love me now and I’m a murderer” and all of this. And I just didn’t talk to Him anymore.
Sid: And things got even worse than that if you can believe it you went to live with your father and what was your lifestyle like by age 9?
Tracy: Oh wow, by age 9 I was an alcoholic and at age 10 I started in a lesbian relationship with a girl and we continued in that relationship for so many years.
Sid: Do you think that it had something to do with the fact that a man molested you when you were just 5?
Tracy: I think that has a lot to do with it and also just the need of having a woman and not having the storge love of my mother; the love of a mother. The word of God says “We learn to trust on our mother’s breast.” And when that is taken away and we don’t have that connection we lose so much, and I think I was striving for that love and the attention and the affirmation of a woman.
Sid: And why at age 9 were you drinking so much?
Tracy: It took a while for me to get out of the numbness that I felt in my emotions. And I…
Sid: From your mother’s death?
Tracy: Yeah, from my mother’s death, I was just like sweeped away it was like a whirlwind. You know God had rejected me now here I am with the man whose in the occult my father and he’s got a new wife and all of this. And I remember coming down the stairs and my emotions were starting, it was almost about a year later, my emotions were starting to come back again and I was just weeping. I was missing my mom much and my father told me to straighten up to shut the (pause) up and I wasn’t allowed to grieve my mom. And then he said I was just lying and looking for attention.
Sid: Well you father actually introduced you to other things besides allowing you to drink, what other things.
Tracy: Well he didn’t really allow me to drink I think I just stole it.
Sid: I see.
Tracy: So and he was always drunk all the time so he didn’t notice me thank God.
Sid: Hm.
Tracy: (Laughing) He introduced me to witchcraft and for many years the way that our family was guided was by tarot cards and crystals, and chants, and candles and all kinds of wonderful things. I thought it was great because I loved the power, the supernatural power. You know being able to bend a spoon in half with your mind type stuff. And to be able to have my hands on the end of the table and salt and pepper shakers come and flow into my hand.
Sid: Now what about pornography, that started getting even stronger.
Tracy: Oh, that was a big continuing, like I said my dad has a second wife and a new wife and she was a very beautiful beautiful black woman. She a… her skin was so black, she was so beautiful and she was tall and slender and she had a son named Larry who was brought into the family when I was. And we were made into a family. But Larry and I got into a lot of heavy petting and a lot of just trying to fill that void. You know holding each other one minute and then when parents weren’t around we were beating each other up type of thing.
Sid: I’ll tell you what we’re out of time we’ll pick up here on tomorrow’s broadcast.
Tags: its supernatural, Sid Roth
Tags: its supernatural, Sid Roth