Sid: I don’t know a better way of being red hot for the Messiah than to find out exactly what He did for us. And this is Passover week and that’s why I’m so excited about the book we’re making available it’s called “The Passion What Does it Mean?” And we’ve seen the passion the movie perhaps through perhaps Catholic eyes but we have not seen the passion through Jewish eyes. And that’s the only way that you can understand the depth and the riches of the Passion. I have the author Dr. Bree Keyton on the telephone here I’m speaking to her at her home in Kansas City… I promised our Mishpochah that we would play the selection called “Nails.” Tell me about what this means and what happens when people listen to this particular music.
Bree: Jesus was the most violent offender to the kingdom of darkness that’s every lived and that’s why He was nailed to the cross. Now your listeners are about to hear this song “Nails” and I want them to know that nails were put in His hands and feet to deliver us to set us free from all of the attacks of Satan against our souls, against our bodies, against our mind. And so when you listen to this if you will just lay your hand on your belly and if you feel a stirring just let God set you free. This is a powerful song and it’s based on the authority given the believer in Luke 10:19 which says “Behold I have given you power to trend on serpents and scorpions and over all of the power of the enemy.” That means the enemy does have power but He’s given us authority over it; and this is part of what this song will do is to set you free; to deliver you and bring you into a closer more intimate walk with the Lord.
Sid: Okay, “Nails.”
Sid: That was “Nails” by Dr. Bree Keyton and this came out of several years of fasting; actually originated from a vision she had in May of 1993 where she saw the Messiah being crucified, she saw the passion. And as a matter of fact on Monday’s broadcast we played a song in which you hear the whip cracking 39 times and what does that mean Bree?
Bree: Of course we know from scripture Isaiah 53 is an absolutely marvelous picture of the coming suffering of the Messiah. It is amazing to me that the people did not recognize Him when He came but the suffering of the Messiah for us to be healed; for us to be delivered. And Isaiah 53 really deals with that in depth. There have been a number of people just sovereignly healed by God; getting up out of wheelchairs. There’s a particular woman I was doing a concert in the park the summer… a couple of summers ago I could remember her clearly as I did this song I could see her face begin to light up. I went out and I touched her hat and I said “Rise and walk” and this woman got up out of a wheelchair, she had not walked in 15 years. And she got up and strength came into her legs and she walked up and down praising God and giving glory to God. And that’s of course my only goal is bring glory to God; these songs were really His and they really bring close to us that how much Jesus suffered for us that we might be healed, we might be delivered, and most of all that we might be saved.
Sid: Now Bree, you had this vision of May 1993 in which you saw Jesus’ suffering which Mel Gibson’s movie was almost nothing compared to the suffering that you saw Him go through. But I can see how God’s prepared the vessel you’ve gone through a lot of suffering in your life. As a matter of fact you should be dead. Tell me what happened, you were a nightclub singer before you became a believer in the Messiah. Tell me what happened.
Bree: Yes, I was a warm up back for rock stars by brother and I traveled the country from the time we were little kids and we’d come out and do the warm up and then the rock idol or whoever it was would come out and do their whole show. And of course we had a nightclub act where we came out and sang and danced. And one night a man nobody knows who he was, nobody knows why this happened, but he came in the back ad shot me in the head. Now I fell forward and I was taken to the hospital, the man got away and nobody ever knew who it was. And he got away and they took me to the hospital, dug the bullet out of my head, washed it out with salt water, x-rayed it and said “Go home.” And that doesn’t sound possible to me Bree, it sounds like it’s a miracle. It was a miracle but you know Sid; there was somebody praying for me all of those years that I was in the world and it was a family friend who was a Christian man and he just stood in the gap for me and prayed and prayed and never would give up. I just wish that everybody would do that; they would think of somebody to pray for that just looks impossible. But I know that I looked impossible because I was so ensconced in show business that I was so deep into that lifestyle it was just a miracle that I ever came out of it.
Sid: What about the time that you were screaming like Janis Joplin; what happened to your voice box?
Bree: You know I was in a rock band that later those guys became the Ozark Mountain Daredevils, but at that time we were in a band called Albatross. I was on stage screaming on a Janis Joplin song and my throat pour and blood gushed out and I fell forward onto the audience; it seems I do a lot of that doesn’t it. And they took me home; I went to the doctor and they said “You’ll never sing or speak again; you’ve destroyed your voice.” And so I really was heartbroken because unfortunately music was my god at that time. And I thought “Oh no, my life is over, I couldn’t image doing anything else.” And one day I actually had a good friend who had been a Pentecostal believer at one time, of course he wasn’t living a very godly life at that time, but he said “Why don’t you just get on your knees and ask God to heal your voice.” And I thought “Aha, an epiphany what an idea.” So I waited till everyone had left and I got down on my knees and I said, of course I couldn’t speak out-loud I just mouthed these words, I said “God if you’re really there heal my voice and I’ll give it to You.”
Sid: Bree we’re out of time we’ll pick up here on tomorrow’s broadcast I got to find out what happened to someone that’s a professional singer and their voice box is ripped out.
Sid: We want everyone every where to be so reliant on God’s Spirit that they will fulfill their destiny that they will not be a copy; they’ll be an original. Now Larry Randolph you see him today teaching, and prophesying major events but Larry if God hadn’t visited you in your early 20’s you had such a negative image of yourself could you have possibly fulfilled your destiny of prophesying these major events?
Larry: I could not and let me tell you why it’s so clear to me the link for that was and is. One of the reason’s I’m able to do what I’m doing now and the ministry now is because of what I’ve learned about being authentic and being real and original. Because this is what I learned that…about that is that God shares secrets with His friends. And if you become a friend with someone you have to be authentic; the only way that you develop true friendship is to be yourself; you have to let your guard down; you have to be authentic; you have to be real. And I felt that part of God’s work in my life to get me to become real and authentic opened the door for Him to share secrets because friends don’t share secrets with those that are not themselves or they’re trying to be someone else. They share secrets, they share things with them that they can trust them with and they just love communicating with. So sometimes when I get things from the Lord I’m just talking to the Lord we’re having a good time and it’s like He’s fellowshipping with me and He lets things slip. I know that it’s terrible to say it that way because friends do that when they talk they tell you things they wouldn’t tell someone else. But I think that the core value the nexus for that; the tipping point for that has to be the authenticity and the realness and the sense of self-esteem that you are a reflection of Christ. If you have that God can just trust you with gifts of the Spirit and words of the Spirit and things that come to you.
Sid: Well, you described earlier this week that you were such a negative person; that you didn’t have many friends, that you were just plain miserable. Let me ask you this question; you knew how you were today when you look at yourself in the mirror; who do you see?
Larry: When I look at myself in the mirror; when I used to look at myself in the mirror there was distain; I couldn’t look at myself in the mirror. But when I look at myself in the mirror today honestly what I see is there’s a…I’m going to say it the only way I know how to say it Sid because words cannot quite capture it. There’s a part of God somewhere in His enormous character and nature that looks like me because I come from Him. So when I look at that I don’t mean I’m in love with myself, I don’t mean that I’m full of pride. I mean I’m looking at this treasure that we have in earthen vessels which Paul talks about. I’m a treasure, your a treasure, everyone listening is a treasure because there’s a part of God that looks like every person. In other words we were a dream in God’s heart before the foundation of the world and your birth was a dream come true. So God I believe visits every birth to see if the dream come to past that He dreamed about us. It’s what Paul said “He predestined us.” In other words he foreknew us and he set our rising before the foundation of the world. So when I look in the mirror I look and I say “Wow, I’m looking at a dream come to pass that was in God’s heart billions of years ago; I am indebted now to become all I can be to make Him proud; to be as much like the dream that He dreamed about me that I can be. I’ve refused the nightmare the enemy’s tried to tell me I am and I’ve accepted the dream come true that God has made me to be.
Sid: I’m just curious people that have read your newest book “Original Breath,” have you heard of testimonies. Oh in fact I seem to recall that you were talking about this at a meeting one time and you released the people to say honestly who they believe that Jesus called them to be.
Sid: Tell me about that.
Larry: I’ve been doing that in a few meetings, by the way I was going to say that there’s one church in northern California for their whole Bible study every week to try to pull them out of the constrictions and bad self images etcetera. So I just got some information from them talking about how their life had been changed and the concepts had changed their life etcetera because there’s a world full of hurting people and low self-image is pretty much the high bar for pretty many in the church. So what I do sometimes Sid is when I feel this I will gather when people are in the room I will say “I want to bless you; and the blessing.” What does a father do when he wants to bless his children; he gives them permission to become all that they can become and what they’re destined to be. He didn’t put on them what he thinks they’re supposed to be he gives them permission. So the scripture says “What-so-ever you loose on earth can be loosed in heaven.” So I loose on earth what already loosed in heaven in their life and they just don’t know it. So I give them blessing, I say “Tell me your deepest dream that your afraid to tell someone because you think that they’ll laugh at you; tell me the thing that you think that your called to be but your insecurity won’t let you and say it out loud, I will bless you and I’ll give you a fathers blessing. And prophecy over you as Jacob did his sons to be what God has called you to be. And Sid, the amazing testimony on that are incredible because most have people have been told they can’t do it; they can’t make it they’re stupid, their parents maybe have told them that. So it breaks that negative voice and it declares the positive voice, that original breath in them. It releases that original breath so they can exhale from their very heart all that God has put in them; so.
Sid: It’s almost like the first time in their life they have permission.
Larry: They have permission, absolutely. I talk about that in the book, there’s permission to be what God has called you to be is probably one of the deficits in the church; we have very little permission to be an original because everybody wants to make us in their image not in God’s image.
Sid: I wonder if you would pray this for the people just like you do at churches to release them right now to be the unique person that God created them to be. And if they only could comprehend two things: “The love of God for them” and “How unique they are with a special destiny.”
Larry: Yes, I will do that. “Father we thank you for the expression of Your wonderful diverse nature; the universe is not able to contain the expression of such a diverse God; Your all in all; Your bigger than everything; and out of that You have given us a piece of Your nature and Your heart and you have dreamed about us and You’ve dreamed our destinies and You’ve dreamed about us and what you’ve wanted us to become; so Lord that dream that’s in the peoples hearts that are listening that original intention; that original thought, that original breath of the Ruach, the Breath of heaven that’s in their spirit I ask Lord that You would release it and that you would take from them the gag order the enemy has put on their mouth and the depression that is upon them and the sense of worthlessness that is upon them. And Lord, I release them to become what You have called them to be and some of you that means doctors, you know that doctors, many doctors is a gift from God. Many in the church would be dead if there wasn’t a gift from God. Lawyers are from God if that’s what God’s called you to do; preachers are a gift from God; prophets are a gift from God; mid-wives are a gift from God; bankers are a gift from God; and so is musicians and talent and creativity and actors and actresses so it’s not just releasing you to just be a few things but releasing you to fit in this eco-system that we call civilization right now in a way that God can use you like Daniel in Babylon was a governor; like Joseph was a CEO of corporate Egypt and God helped him to come into a unique destiny that had never lived before. So I declare to your wildest dreams; your wildest heart pulse that says “I think that I’m called to be that.” Lord we release them into that destiny and we give them permission; Sid and I agree they have permission to become what God has called them to be regardless of what they feel.
Sid: Larry you find that your prophetic gift is keener; people being healed easier; why now why wasn’t it 30 years ago?
Larry: Because I couldn’t…you know what you can only give away what you have; and the root of poverty is not money; the root of poverty is poverty of soul. And when you have a deficit in your soul and a negative in your soul; that is a root of real poverty. In other words you cannot encourage other people; you cannot put blessings on other people. You can’t pull people up to higher level because you have that need in your life and it’s like you can’t give away what you need. You know the scriptures say “Comfort others with the same comfort your comforted with. So you have to have that comfort to be able to do that; to be able to invest. Here’s what I call it we have a great deficit of compliment in the church; we don’t know how to compliment one another because we’ve never felt worth anything. So you’ve got to lose that sense of no selfworth; lose that sense of and to compliment and to encourage. Because the greatest gift that you can every have is the gift of encouraging other people.
Sid: And you know in our society we are so self-centered we’re trained from little childhood to be self-centered. Your talking the opposite.
Larry: I am, it’s a spirit of soulish poverty; you cannot value and compliment other people; you don’t have a complimentary spirit. See a prosperous spirit; a prosperous spirit is a complimentary spirit and so when you have a complimentary spirit you are constantly complimenting people; you’re constantly seeing the gold in them; seeing the original breath.
Sid: And they’re not competition to you are they Larry.
Larry: No, they’re no competition. As a matter of fact you are hoping that your ceiling is their ground floor, your hoping they do better than you; your hoping you would…you know it would make our job easier to take them above and beyond you. John Wimber who I was with for many years used to say that the five fold ministry Paul said in Ephesians is to equip the saints to do the work of the ministry. Somehow in this kind of American culture we thought that it’s only a few chosen peoples obligation to do the work. When we are supposed to actually teach the people and equip them to do the work of the ministry. Jesus was comfortable saying “I love you so much I hope you do greater works than I’ve done; as a matter of facts you are going to do greater works than I have done.”
Sid RothComments Off on Our Guest Gordon Robertson
Sid: I have on the telephone Gordon Robertson; he is host of 700 Club along with his dad, Pat Robertson who founded the 700 Club. Gordon on yesterday’s broadcast we left them hanging. You got a call from John Jimenez to go to India, you’re a comfortable attorney. You want nothing to do with ministry, you’re in a backslidden type lukewarm type of state. But you had a little fleece if you get a visa, and in a couple of days you got his visa. And before you knew it you were in India and the next day he says “You’re preaching.” You’d never preached before, you preached for the first message of your life to 15,000 Hindu’s and people started coming forward to receive the Lord. And there was one particular family, they were Brahmin’s. And what are Brahmin’s for those that don’t understand?
Gordon: Brahmin’s are the priest class of the Hindu society, they’re the top caste of their culture. They’re the land owners, sort of the most powerful class within Hindu culture and they’re the ones who are called the twice born. They’re the only ones that have any chance of achieving Nirvana. Moksha is what the Hindus call it.
Sid: What did they say to you when they came forward?
Gordon: They had tears in their eyes and they said “We cannot help but believe in this Jesus that you preach. Your words have pierced our hearts like arrows.”
Sid: And what does it mean to them coming up and publicly proclaiming Jesus as their Messiah?
Gordon: And not just proclaiming that but proclaiming that they wanted baptism, that… the Hindu’s believe that there are many gods and that they have no trouble praying to Jesus as sort of adding Jesus to their list of gods. But for baptism is the one, that’s the separation point where they’re turning their back on family, they’re turning their back on whatever job or career or money or economic position or social position. They’re literallyleaving everything and they know from that point forward they will be considered outcasts and they will not have their families receive them any longer.
Sid: Hmm. And then John Jimenez had a second dream, your all set to go home and you’re glad it’s a victory it’s a success you’re happy but you’re even happier about going home. But John has another dream and he says “You’re supposed to stay, I mean I still don’t understand how you decided to stay.” I’ve never been in India but I have friends that have preached there and they said they loved the results but they hate that level standard of living way out. I mean how many hour train ride did you take to get to this city?
Gordon: Twelve hours, 12 hours.
Sid: So, how could you stay?
Gordon: It was that Hindu couple that… I knew something was going on that I needed to stay to find out what that was.
Sid: Now, did you have a whole series of meetings planned after you left or what was your itinerary like?
Gordon: All the meetings were over, there was no agenda, there was nothing really to do other than to sit there and wait. Keep in mind I’m still a partner in a law firm that I got this case load that is kind of gnawing at me.
Sid: I wonder what the telegram was like or the phone call when you informed your partners on what you were doing.
Gordon: Oh, that’s another interesting story.
Sid: Or your wife. (Laughing)
Gordon: My wife was tougher, but I think Kathryn was prepared at one of the few things I did in sort of my rebellious backsliding years. One of the best decisions I made was I needed to marry a Christian and needed to have that in my life. And so she was a Christian and so for her hearing me say the wild tales of preaching in front of large crowds was I mean it was unusual for her but at the same time was an answer to her prayer.
Sid: One night you’re in India and they were having this huge Hindu festival but actually God woke you up. Tell me what happened.
Gordon: Well the day that I waved goodbye to John Jimenez at the train station and then went back to the hotel and literally I did not know what I was supposed to do. I mean I’m there with a man I’ve known for all of a week who’s from Fiji and we’re sharing a room in a $15 a night Indian hotel. And I’m kind of wondering if I’d completely lost my mind. And that night the very night that John left there was this big Hindu festival to Shiva the god of destruction and I woke up at 3:00 in the morning. I did not know that it was 3:00 in the morning I thought it was getting close to dawn. And I didn’t want to disturb Sesil so I decided to walk outside and see what was around the city. Because there was no agenda for that day so let’s go explore. It’s the middle of the night and it’s the middle of this big Hindu festival and it’s down by what they call the River Ghat which is the river temple where they offer sacrifices to the God Shiva. And it’s like I’ve taken a step back in time. Growing up in Virginia I’ve never seen idolatry, I’ve never seen people bow down to stone and wood, we just don’t have that here. And here at this river temple it’s like a whole town had turned out and you know the crowd at this river temple made 15,000 that showed up at our little gospel meeting seem small by comparison. And there were professions and drums and pipes and big clouds of incense coming up, and people whirling like whirling dervishes. And it was just this chaotic scene as they went down to the river to offer sacrifice to Shiva who they think dwelt in the river. During this I prayed “Lord, do you want me to be here?” And got a very firm answer “Yes, I do.” Then I wanted to make sure, will you protect me in the middle of this?” And he said “Yes, I will.” And I walked in to the temple god area.
Sid: Gordon I have to ask you “Were you used to getting this type of communication from God?”
Gordon: Well it had been awhile but because my father was very careful when I was growing up to make sure I knew the voice of the Lord. I had some very dramatic encounters with the Lord when I was young, and sort of once you know that you never forget it.
Sid: Tell me the most dramatic, just briefly when you were young.
Gordon: I was 12 years old I was caught up in a cloud, I read the verse “The eyes of the Lord go to and fro over the whole earth to show Himself strong for those who hearts are loyal to Him.” Prayed a very simple prayer, sort of a challenging prayer for a 12 year old, I said “Lord, if you show me Your power I will serve You.” And I spent the next 3 hours flat on the ground completely motionless, unable to move, unable to walk, but in my senses I was just in this white cloud. I didn’t know that there was a scriptural significance to white clouds of glory but when I was 12 I know it now. But God answered that prayer very dramatically and very quickly. I was up in Ohio in a small church and my family literally had to carry me out of there. (Laughing). And yeah that was a dramatic one.
Sid: So when you see things that happened in the Brownsville Revival and the Toronto Airport Church that’s not so strange for you.
Gordon: No, I mean there are different manifestations, I haven’t had all of the manifestations that say Brownsville has, but I can’t say you ever get used to it. But I know it and once you know that, once you know the voice of the Lord, once you’ve experienced that you know there’s no counterfeit that substitute, there’s something unbelievable to it. But even these childhood experiences didn’t prepare me for what God was getting ready to show me at this temple god.
Sid: What did He show you?
Gordon: I mean a lot of what I had growing up and had been experiencing you know you read the Biblical encounters with angels and with God. You know I remember as a child being somewhat jealous of the Apostle Paul and how he was stricken on the road to Damascus and why did he get that direct revelation and I didn’t. And here I am in this river of Ghat and I’m praying and I felt led to go into it and then once I’m in it and I’m seeing adultery and I’m reacting to that with almost with a righteous anger rising up to me “Why are you a child of God made in the image of God why are you bowing down to that thing. Why are you doing that? Then I felt led of the Lord to walk off to a separate area a rocky point that looked down at the river scene. And there it’s hard to describe any of this…
Sid: Gorgon I’m sorry, just hold that thought. Mishpochah we’ll pick up on tomorrow’s broadcast.
Sid: We want everyone everywhere to be red hot for the Messiah, but something is stopping you from operating from what you see is your inheritance. You read the promises in the Bible but there’s some blockage, there’s something that causes you to cause other people to react badly, something within you. There’s something within you that causes your family not to be the way you know that God intended it to be. Well my guest Trisha Frost has got answers for you. You’ve been praying, well here’s some answers. Trisha talk about what is stopping people from walking the abundant supernatural life that God promises us.
Trisha: Okay, I think the number 1 thing that stops us is the fear of man. You know for most of my life I was so afraid to live a life of courage. And Sid courage isn’t the absence of fear but courage is a decision of make a choice to face your adversity, to face the one that’s telling you can’t and deal with that. I feel like people fear man and what man feels or thinks about them to the point that they’ve embraced a lie that they really can’t or they shouldn’t or they don’t have a right to be able to, and that hinders us from living our potential to the fullest. Because for me here’s the deal, here’s what happening on the earth right now. I feel like we’re living in the days of Malachi 4, 5 and 6. I feel like father’s hearts are restored back to their kids. You know I see fathers all over the world that they just long to have an intimate relationship not just with their sons and daughters but of course with their earthly fathers so that they can represent. I think Father God is just so tired of being misrepresented to the world. Then the last part of Malachi says that “To set the sons hearts you know sons are coming home and they’re not going to come home to an orphanage. They want to come home to a home a safe place where they have value, where they are… they believe that they can and that blessings instead of curses are spoken over them and so they can embrace the truth and let go of the woundedness of the word curses, the lies that they have embraced and has hindered them or prevented them from living in… I feel like we’re living in a day of revival. And to me revival means to set things in motion. And we can either choose to live in a place of revival to where we set purpose or we set destiny and we fulfill those dreams that they’re God given dreams that we fulfill our potential; Or we’re going to live in a state of survival just tolerating or enduring life until Jesus is going to come and that old glory days or whatever and we’re going to just going to be ruptured out of here. You know what, I don’t want that to be my outcome, I want to live today in the supernatural plan that Father God set up for all of us when we were created. Because I feel like we were created in His image and we were created by Him and we were created for Him to do, to demonstrate who He is. And I think that so many people just do not know how to demonstrate and to represent this loving Father because they’ve not, it’s not been demonstrated to them. Father God has been so misrepresented to them that it’s called judgments, it’s called ungodly beliefs, it’s called life’s entanglements that keep them stuck in the pain of their childhood and the woundedness of their past instead of stepping into their destiny and stepping into revival today. So people ask me “Well how do you do all of that Trisha?” Well I personally feel like we have to go back and visit our past for just a moment. I think if we stay too much in our past that we’ll get stuck in our past. But if we go back to our past so we can identify and uproot, tear down and overthrow and destroy all of that woundedness, all of that hindrances so that we can build and plant. Because Father God want us to build and plant the Kingdom in our life and He wants us to build and plant the kingdom in other people’s lives. I miss Jack terribly but I’m telling you what, it’s not that I wouldn’t want Jack to come back, but I’m living my life today to the fullest because each day I ask the Father God to show me what are the things that prevent me, what are the lies that I have been believing that hinder me from living my potential, my destiny. And so many of you guys out there I mean even right now I just feel like, I don’t feel grieved but I just feel empathy because there’s people out there that you’re listening to us right now and you’re going “That’s me, that’s me I’m living stuck in my past and I want to live and hope and I want to be able to dream again and I’m tired of life snuffing out my dreams.” And you want change and you want to embrace change and there’s hope for you, there is hope for change, there is hope for you to live your potential, there’s hope for you to live your destiny. And so I don’t know I just feel like right now that I want to step into being a momma and as a mother in the Kingdom of God I want to call forth. There’s someone out there right now that you’re struggling so much with lost self-esteem and as a mom it really grieves my heart to watch you suffer and to watch you believe lies about yourself whenever I can see the plan I can see the future, I can see the hope that Father God created you in. And I just want to speak to you right now, I just want to ask you to ask the Father to come and show you what are the things that you need to let go of, what are the things that you need to forgive, what is it that you need to step into to give you a vision of your destiny. Because I think with a vision of your destiny it will stir up hope within you again. So as a mother in the Kingdom of God I just want to release hope, I just want to release hope in the air ways to dream again, to believe in yourself. Deal with the junk, deal with the hindrances so that you can remove any and everything in your life that keeps you bound. You know that keeps you bound to negative behaviors and it’s not fruitful. But I just speak a blessing over you, I speak a blessing that you would dream and live again and be happy and to know that there are people out there that want to help you. There are resources out there that you can obtain that will bring help to you. I just pray right now that Father would bring mothers and fathers into your life. Mothers and fathers that you can trust, that won’t wound you that won’t hurt you that you won’t be disappointed in. And I just pray for Father to come and just stir up intimacy in your relationships with Him first but with your families. And I just feel right now there’s a mother out there that you’re dealing with shame and you’re dealing with shame and you’re dealing with guilt because you had an abortion. And you feel like well you killed a child, you snuffed out someone’s destiny. And Father wants you to know that you’re forgiven. That you are forgiven of that and I just break off shame off of you right now I just break it off of you. There is hope, there is still a plan, there is still a purpose for your life and Father God will show you what that plan and what that purpose is if you’ll just open your heart and just ask and just let Him know that you’ll trust Him again.
Sid: We want everyone everywhere to be set free. Yes, set free! I have a book by my friend Molly D’Andrea right in my hand now and it’s called “Set Free.” And the subject is different than what you are used to. But I’m going to tell you something within the church statistically we have found out from various polls there are as many if not more divorces than the general public. There are people dealing with pornography that call themselves Christians, there are people dealing with sexual addictions of all kinds and they call themselves Christians. There are people that are Christians that have been molested or raped or have been victims of incest. They’ve just buried it and they’ve never really been free. You see the Messiah came to set the captives free. There are people that love God and they are practicing lesbians and homosexuals and they don’t know that Jesus came to set the captives free. Let me read this from the back of the back of the book. Dramatic stories that are offer hope for the sexually wounded. On these pages you will meet John who faced death with his homosexual lover; Rhoda who lived in fear and shame because of sexual abuse ty her father; Allen whose addiction to pornography and promiscuity led to prison plus many more. This is not a book of condemnation and judgment rather it is a volume filled with love and compassion. And I’ve talked to some of the people that are written the pages of this book and this is what they have said to me. They said, “Sid this book not only shows the steps on how to get free from all of the bondage that you are in but how to stay free and how to know the difference that’s it really isn’t you it’s really a spiritual force and demonic entity that is doing these things. You see most homosexuals and lesbians that I meet they think that’s them. They think they can’t be free, but the truth is that that it is not them, that is not who God created and God loves them and wants them to be free. I have on the telephone Tracy Leigh and I’m speaking to her at her home in St. Petersburg, Florida. Her story is in this book. Tracy your problems started I think in the womb. From what I’ve read you’re literally one of these children that had a spirit of rejection come in right at conception.
Tracy: Oh yes, oh yes most assuredly. I was conceived out of wedlock and fornication. My mother and father in the backseat of the car you know the type date thing. And when they found out I was going to be arriving it wasn’t a happy news. My mother was married when she was 7 months pregnant with me. And they took the wedding pictures with her in her wedding gown after I was born. And those are the pictures I gave away.
Sid: Now, I find this hard to believe but this is what you said. At age 1½ you began experimenting sexual with yourself and your mother said it was “Okay as long as no one saw you?”
Tracy: Well it was one of those things that it was “Okay, it’s okay honey just you know…” she didn’t say as long as no one saw me but that was the inference that was given. “It’s okay if it’s done in private I’m not going to say anything to anybody and you can just do whatever you want to do.”
Sid: Now your mother was sickly all the time and you actually believed in God as a little child but how come she allowed you to look at things as a little girl things like Playboy magazine?
Tracy: Well there you got a seed. See my mother had her problems and her issues and she could only give to me what she had received. So when she had her boyfriend, I mean she stayed by the letter of law with him, there was no adultery or fornication with him they stayed according to the word of God. And they actually split up and didn’t really spend time together alone after our pastor had told her that it was my father and her divorce was not final so that it looked bad and so they separated. But for some reason the Playboy was there and stumbling across it that’s when I really started getting bound up in pornography.
Sid: And you were molested at a young age at about 5, but one day something very traumatic happened to you, you weren’t picked up at school. How old were you?
Tracy: I was 7.
Sid: At 7, tell me about that.
Tracy: Well I was at St. John’s Elementary School and like I said I loved Jesus, I loved God but my mom didn’t come to get me. In fact it was after a little Brownie meeting we had and I called and the phone rang and rang and rang. So finally I called my grandfather who I called dad. And he was mad because my mom had been at the house doing laundry didn’t pick me up and so she didn’t make a habit of messing around but he was so mad so he came to get to get me. From a distance of so many miles I just smoke and I just started praying I didn’t think it was anything but I just needed to pray. And the closer we got it was our house and our townhome and they found my mother on the kitchen phone in her hand she had picked it up as I hung up. So right then and there the thoughts came in my mind and I know that they’re demonic now but the thought came that I’d murdered her.
Tracy: If I would just have let the phone ring one more time I could have told her to get out of the house. And I still I had such a faith in God but that night when my grand-mother came into the room and said “Let’s pray.” I figured God was going to believe that God was going to raise my mom from the dead.
Sid: You really did have faith.
Tracy: He was going to raise her from the dead because see I got everything I wanted Sid. Every time I prayed God gave me everything I wanted. And if my mom said “No, I went and I asked Daddy God and Daddy God said “Yes.” And I would get it
Sid: So from age 7 you really thought you were responsible for your mom’s death. So you felt a wall between yourself and God.
Tracy: Oh yeah, I mean it started off with “How could He love me a murderer.” And then I got mad at Him because “You didn’t bring her back, You took her You don’t love me and You don’t love me now and I’m a murderer” and all of this. And I just didn’t talk to Him anymore.
Sid: And things got even worse than that if you can believe it you went to live with your father and what was your lifestyle like by age 9?
Tracy: Oh wow, by age 9 I was an alcoholic and at age 10 I started in a lesbian relationship with a girl and we continued in that relationship for so many years.
Sid: Do you think that it had something to do with the fact that a man molested you when you were just 5?
Tracy: I think that has a lot to do with it and also just the need of having a woman and not having the storge love of my mother; the love of a mother. The word of God says “We learn to trust on our mother’s breast.” And when that is taken away and we don’t have that connection we lose so much, and I think I was striving for that love and the attention and the affirmation of a woman.
Sid: And why at age 9 were you drinking so much?
Tracy: It took a while for me to get out of the numbness that I felt in my emotions. And I…
Sid: From your mother’s death?
Tracy: Yeah, from my mother’s death, I was just like sweeped away it was like a whirlwind. You know God had rejected me now here I am with the man whose in the occult my father and he’s got a new wife and all of this. And I remember coming down the stairs and my emotions were starting, it was almost about a year later, my emotions were starting to come back again and I was just weeping. I was missing my mom much and my father told me to straighten up to shut the (pause) up and I wasn’t allowed to grieve my mom. And then he said I was just lying and looking for attention.
Sid: Well you father actually introduced you to other things besides allowing you to drink, what other things.
Tracy: Well he didn’t really allow me to drink I think I just stole it.
Sid: I see.
Tracy: So and he was always drunk all the time so he didn’t notice me thank God.
Tracy: (Laughing) He introduced me to witchcraft and for many years the way that our family was guided was by tarot cards and crystals, and chants, and candles and all kinds of wonderful things. I thought it was great because I loved the power, the supernatural power. You know being able to bend a spoon in half with your mind type stuff. And to be able to have my hands on the end of the table and salt and pepper shakers come and flow into my hand.
Sid: Now what about pornography, that started getting even stronger.
Tracy: Oh, that was a big continuing, like I said my dad has a second wife and a new wife and she was a very beautiful beautiful black woman. She a… her skin was so black, she was so beautiful and she was tall and slender and she had a son named Larry who was brought into the family when I was. And we were made into a family. But Larry and I got into a lot of heavy petting and a lot of just trying to fill that void. You know holding each other one minute and then when parents weren’t around we were beating each other up type of thing.
Sid: I’ll tell you what we’re out of time we’ll pick up here on tomorrow’s broadcast.